Haad Yuan

I'm here on Haad Yuen beach on Kho Phangan and I'm having an alright time. Thailand is not what I expected it to be. I'm still missing India like mad and having a hard time just chilling on the beach. I'm not really a "relaxer" per se so that may be part of the problem, but I also feel like I am spinning my wheels here and just burning time. I am having anxiety about coming home...I'm really nervous about leaving this trip behind and getting back to life. I have realized so many things about my life back in Vancouver and I am honestly more confused about where I am in my life now that I have been away. I've been feeling awfully lonely and down here, and even started crying in yoga class this morning. The teacher played a track from this album "Sacred Chants of Devi" that had Reena played for me the night before I left to come on my adventure. The song is a beautiful and haunting track regardless but it brought back the excitement and wonder of going away and I felt like I hit a wall. I broke down and started crying, secretly of course...it's hot and muggy enough for me to disguise my tears as beads of sweat. I'm really got to put my nose to the grindstone and figure out a way for me to get to London. I'm just putting it out there, and I have faith it will all work out. I need a change so bad.

So the crazy thing is about this beach is that it is full of Vancouvites! The yoga teacher knows me from Beats Without Borders events (she has seen me dance a few times) and in the class I ran into 2 girls I used to party with waaaay back in the day when I was young and crazy (I'm still crazy but not that kind of crazy). The girls are Stacy and Shania (Tezra- Kirsten's friend Stacy). There was another girl in the class from the Drive so that was really funny to see her as well. Turns out that Haad Yuen is the beach to go to! I'm happy to have found Stacy and Shania. We are having a nice time eating loads of yummy food, drinking lots of shakes (pineapple & mint, coconut, and watermelon are my favorites) and of course our daily yoga class. It's been a nice distraction for my overactive mind. They are both moving home to Vancouver after 4 years of being away living in Japan. Stacy has been travelling for one and a half years now and I had just missed her at the Sivanada yoga ashram when I was there by 1 week. Strange.

I've been spending my days pretty much the same...getting up for yoga, eating with the class afterwards at the Bamboo restaurant, going for a swim, reading, watching movies at my bungalow and eating and reading some more. I'm not used to being this chill and I think that is one of the reasons that I am losing my mind! I'm struggling to keep my mood uplifted- I know I sound so melodramatic- but I am having alot of conflicting and confusing thoughts. It's hard being here in paradise and not being able to totally appreciate this beauty. I'm trying to stay present but my mind is a million miles away. Thailand is a good place to get away to but it's not really an experience nor an adventure...and that's the way I like to travel. I have run into more tourists here on this beach than I have in all my travels in India...and I go to sleep listening to banging house music. I miss the jangle of the temples of India in the morning, and the singsong intonation of Hindi.

I had my hair cut by this London hairdresser as my hair was in a dire need to get sorted out. He cut my hair really punky and I suddenly have baby bangs again ("Sweet ones darling") so I am coping with how to style my hair! Especially in this humidity....my hair has gone huge and corkscrewy! I hope the bangs grow out before I return...I look like I am 19 years old again (but with 10 yrs experience lol).

I'm gonna stay here till Sunday- till the end of my yoga pass- and I think that I'll fly to the north to go to Chiang Mai. A couple I met in Munnar (Leeanne and Mike) will be going north on the 1st of April and want to meet me there so I think I will. It'll be nice to have some company and they are hilarious Brits who will keep me laughing for sure. They are coming from spending 2 months in Africa so it will be great to hear their experience.

So I'm off to bed...good night. xoxoxox

Crash, boom, BANG!

I'm sitting in a cyber cafe at my bungalow in the most FANTASTIC storm ever...waves of rain washing down, ear splitting thunder above my head and incredible flashes of lightening illuminating the entire sea! Incredible!
I have arrived on Kho Phangan today after a fairly easy journey from Bangkok. I caught the night bus and managed to get a little bit of rest on the bus...I had 2 seats to myself so I twisted myself up sideways and caught some shut eye. We stopped at 24 hour Thai food extravaganza...it was brillantly lighted with hot pink and mint green fluroscent lights. a shrill woman barking orders over the super loud speaker system, and the craziest assortment of food I have ever seen. I was right out of it so I didn't take any pictures...but if I stop at a place like this on my way back believe me I will!
I caught a high powered catamaran to Kho Phangan which took about 3 hours. I passed out for most of the trip, but awoke when we arrived on Kho Tao to see the chunky island dressed in emerald palm trees and white sand. I arrived on Kho Phangan and immediately was addressed by a Hare Krishna spreading his love of Krishna...I must have something written all over my soul or something! I gave him 50 B for his book on Karma-Yoga and caught a minibus to Haad Rin (the infamous Full Moon Party beach) so that I could catch a boat to Haad Yuen. I met a girl named Lucy on the bus who lives here on Kho Phangan -actually at the yoga centre The Sanctuary. Lucy convinced me to go right to The Sanctuary and check out the beach there. So I went to that beach and checked into a dorm room at the Sanctuary. As I was getting out of the boat I ran into a Vancouver Yoga Teacher at the Sanctuary doing a teachers training course! It really is a small world isn't it!
The Sanctuary is a really beautiful spot but it was a bit too high-end hippy resort-y for my liking. The restaurant had gorgeous (but expensive) food, so I splashed out on a lentil burger which was music to my lips. I ended up walking the steep pathway through the jungle to Haad Yuan- the beach that Sarah had recommended inititally and found it was much more to my liking. So I booked a room at the Big Blue Bungalow, trekked back to the Sanctuary, packed up all my stuff, and trekked back to the Big Blue. This was all done between 2:30 & 3:30 in 37C heat. and I forgot to reapply my sunscreen after my post- meal swim. I have very burned shoulders and a rather Rudolph looking nose...alas my quick dosing of SPF 40 didn't help much.
I met a really strange Israeli fellow (who I think was gay) who took a real liking to me, so much so that he tried to climb into my hammock with me. I felt rather uncomfortable OBVIOUSLY so I fled as soon as I could claiming that I was being bitten by mossies (which I was...they are as big as birds here). This fellow is named Asher, and I'm hoping to avoid him at all costs...he seems like a real wierdo! But this beach is TINY and very unpopulated so unless I hide out in my bungalow all day or leave the beach I'm sure I'll be seeing lots of him. He seems like the real man about town...I hope he's just extra gay and friendly, not creepy and lecherous! LOL
I'm starting yoga tomorrow morning so I'm quite excited. I'm not really one to sit and relax much on the beach so I need some activity besides shopping (which there isn't much of here thankfully) and eating (yikes...I really need the yoga to stop me from eating so much!). Staring at the endless sea is lovely and all but I cannot spent 10 days doing that. I may head into town Haad Rin in a few days to check out the scene there, but I'll wait till after the Black Moon party to do so.
I had a fab dinner at my bungalow and watched the movie "Old School" there. The Big Blue shows 2 movies a night, so that will be a good way to ease into bedtime..seeing as I lost my beloved book "A New Earth" somewhere between Bangkok and here. Oh Ashley. Typical!
The rain has now eased off so I guess I will mosey back to my bunglaow and hunker down for the night. I'm going to get up early and wander the beach a bit before all the rest of the other people get their yoga grooves on.
Mom and dad- so sorry to hear about Alf :( but hopefully he's in peace now. Send gramma my love.
xoxoxox

Ba-bye Bangkok!!

I'm just quickly writing an update as my bus is coming in 15 minutes to whisk me outta here and takeme to the beautiful shores of Kho Phanang. I've had a few whirlwindy days here...I've gotten used to the craziness and difference of Bangkok and have adjusted as much as I can. I'm still not entirely sure about it here but hey I'm only here for another 15 minutes!
I got up pretty early yesterday and checked out of my hotel and into another one that is off Khao San Road in a much quieter area. The veggie restaurant that I have been living (Ethos) is next door to me, so that is quite a treat!! I ended up shipping home another box yesterday...I ended up buying a Rajasthani bedspread in Benaras from Prem's shop that I had been coveting for the past month and a half. I may be late in getting some gifts distributed as the SAL mail service will take a minimum 4 weeks to get to Canada...so please be patient!
I went to Wat Phrew Kao (The Emerald Buddha temple) and City Gate Palace yesterday as well as I popped into Wat Po (The Reclining Buddha Temple). Wat Po was amazing, and holds the largest gold reclining Buddha in the country. On the wall along his backside you can make a nominal donation and get a little bowl full of tiny coins that you drop into buckets that line the wall. I said a little prayer for every coin I dropped...I'm not sure exactly what this routine was for so I thought that I should make the most of what I was doing!
After visiting the temple, Sarah recommended that I go and get a Thai Massage as Wat Po has an excellent school there for massage. I booked an hour long massage and was worked over beyond belief. I'm not sure why everything was so painful- I haven't been very active so maybe that's why but it still felt good. I had every part of my body worked over, and the tiny Thai woman put my body into positions and then used her body to stretch me further. It felt amazing and kinda like I had a workout...Lazywoman's yoga I guess I could say!
I went to the Weekend Market (CHACHEW) today and shopped like crazy. I'm now regretting sending over that package as I could have filled it with so much more stuff! My backpack is back to being as heavy as it was when I had the bedspread in it. Damn! The market was insane...had absolutely everything available...from handicrafts, tons and tons of clothes and thelike, sheets, Thai silk, home furnishings to pets like dogs, rabbits and turtles and much much more. It was so hot though and the humidity is really stifling. But it's better than being cold and wet back at home (sorry for the jab...;)).
It's been amazingly difficult to get vegetarian food here. I had some pad Thai yesterday that was pretty good but to be honest I'm not such a fan of Pad Thai to begin with. It tasted better than the Pad Thai back at home though as ketchup isn't used. I'm looking forward to getting to the beach and getting a little routine place to hang and eat at.
I got an email from Adrian today who is studying esoteric tantra yoga for 6 months in Kho Phanang. The yoga itself doesn't call out to me but running into an old friend does so I'm gonna make sure to call him when I arrive. I'm going a little batty talking to myself...although as long as I don't answer everything is alright...right? LOL

I'm off to Kho Phanang tonight and I am excited to get some R & R and do lots of yoga. Sarah sent me some really good recommendations so thank you my streudal!
I'll check in with more deets later.
xoxoxoxxo

BKK

I've arrived in Disneyland..aka Bangkok. I am not feeling it at all at the moment and have had quite a few wobbly moments as I just miss India so much! I am also suffering from MAJOR culture shock, and it doesn't help that I was dropped off in backpacker hell...Khao San Road. The area is loaded with half naked tourists, (well that's not really the case but it sure seems like it!) everyone is around 20 years of age and all getting wasted on Thai Buckets. Top 40 music is pumping from the cafes and 7/11, Pizza Hut, Starbucks, and Subway dot my corner. I'm feeling one step closer to home. Yikes.
I got about 3 hours sleep last night and was awoken by the reception at my hotel at 2:15am. I struggled to get going but made it in plenty of time to Bombay International. The whole morning (shall I say mourning?...) seemed like a dream. I was quite emotional at the airport and I longed to stay on in India. But I boarded my plane and had a really nice flight to Bangkok.
I arrived in Bangkok and caught a cab into town. I was trying to figure out what the noise was that I WASN'T hearing...silence!!! No one was honking, everyone was driving sanely...it was almost too much to take! Ahh how I long for the craziness of good ole Indian highways...wait I must be really homesick to wish that upon myself!
I got to Khao San Road iat 12 noon and took the first hotel I came across. I was knackered and needed a place to drop my bags to chill. It is a nice hotel but quite expensive so I will move on tomorrow once I have had a decent sleep.
I did a bit of shopping and had lunch at this really lovely veggie restaurant. The street is so overloaded with tourists that I cannot hardly stand it. In all of India the only places that I saw this many tourists was Arambol and Pushkar. But there they had the whole city to spread themselves out...here its only a few blocks. I decided that I needed to unwind so I went and got a mani, pedi and reflexology treatment to calm and treat myself...my feet are looking gorgeous and I fell asleep during the reflexology treatment. The Thai really know their beauty stuff for sure.
I'm gonna stick around in Bangkok at least till Monday and then I think I will head to Kho Phanang to go to a yoga retreat centre there. Flashes of white sand and turquoise seas may be the thing to soothe my soul. If you have any recommendations please let me know as I am travelling by the seat of my pants!
Thailand just seems to be the land of excess..whether its the Thai prostitutes hanging off every middle aged white mans' arm, the massively indulgent Thai bucket, cheap and oily street food, cheap prescription drugs, and 7/11's on each and every corner. Everything is available ALL the time here in Thailand, and it's not something I'm into.
Starting to face the reality of returning to reality back home..it's amazing how fast these months have gone really. But I have my UK trip to tide me over in June...and hopefully I'll land a job (and a visa EEK!!) over there so that gives me something to look forward to. Keep your fingers crossed for me...I really need a fresh start in my life!
Lots of love from BKK...
xoxox